Neha Shahid (Clinical Psychologist)
December 23, 2024.
The conflicting tug of war: men caught in the middle of disputes between their mother-in-law and wife
The home setting is meant to be a haven where we may find solace and support while escaping the challenges of the outside world. Nonetheless, the family environment can serve as a fertile foundation for disputes, anxiety, and destructive habits for a lot of males. The stressful relationship between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is one of the main causes of this poisonous atmosphere. Many people suffer from drug addiction, mental health problems, and the breakdown of men’s relationships and careers as a result of disputes among mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are frequently intricate and multidimensional. Generational disparities, expectations, and limits can all combine to produce an ideal backdrop of conflict and animosity. Men are commonly caught amid these disputes, finding it difficult to manage the nuanced feelings and allegiances accompanying being a spouse and a son. Anxiety, remorse, and shame result from the tremendous pressure to please both parties.
With their spouse hoping for them to support them and their mother wanting them to help her, many men feel like they are being tugged in two separate directions. Mental health conditions like anxiety and sadness severely impact men’s lives. Feelings of negativity and despair, loss of enthusiasm for pastimes and activities, alterations in eating and sleeping habits; trouble focusing and making choices might result from the mental distress and strain caused by mother-in-law and daughter-in-law disputes.
These family conflicts have an effect that extends outside the immediate household and into the social and professional spheres. As a man’s job is greatly undermined by absenteeism and poor productivity, the place of work becomes a mute witness to his inner distress. Because they are unable to close the growing distance brought on by his emotional instability, men distance themselves from the social sphere of life.
Unresolved family conflicts thus have a devastating impact on lives and prospects. Due to the tiring nature of this emotional tug-of-war, men resort to destructive means of escape or relief like the use of drugs. In addition, men’s mental health issues are frequently made worse by the stigma associated with them in society. Many guys are reluctant to ask for assistance because they worry about being judged or seen as weak. This reluctance pushes them farther into destructive behaviors and isolation, which feeds the cycle of pain.
Drug addiction frequently develops gradually as a result of people using drugs as a coping mechanism for stress, worry, or other emotions. Men use drugs as a means of getting away from the emotional pain and tension of the argument; temporarily forgetting their problems and feeling a sense of relaxation; and boosting their mood and energy levels when dealing with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issues. But this short-term reprieve easily develops into a harmful habit. Men who use drugs more frequently begin to suffer from several detrimental effects, such as difficult connections with their spouse, kids, and other family members; a decline in productivity and performance at work; unstable and troubled finances; and issues with one’s physical and emotional well-being.
Bridging the Divide: Fostering Understanding and Empathy in Communities, Families, and Workplace Interventions
To overcome these obstacles, we must work together. Families must recognize their joint duty to promote harmony and work toward empathy and understanding. Rebuilding trust and removing obstacles can be greatly aided by family counseling, open communication, and emotional literacy initiatives. Active listening and empathy are effective strategies for reducing conflict. By placing herself in her daughter-in-law’s position, a mother-in-law may have a deeper understanding of her struggles, and vice versa. Similarly, the son caught in the crossfire needs to be proactive in promoting dialogue and clearing up misconceptions. A healthy dynamic can be established by having open discussions with mutual respect and an openness to finding solutions.
Furthermore, the way society views family roles needs to change. Discord is frequently fueled by patriarchal standards that encourage hierarchical relationships within families. These antiquated customs can be redefined by teaching family members about shared responsibility and respect for individuality, which will foster a supportive environment.
Communities and workplaces also play a part. Organizations can implement male-specific mental health programs that provide safe spaces for men to talk about their challenges without fear of criticism. Families can join together through community programs like seminars and support groups to develop networks of shared learning and acquire practical conflict-resolution skills.
Addressing the myths surrounding addiction and mental health is as important. Addiction is a complicated interaction of psychological, environmental, and hereditary elements rather than a moral fault. Campaigns for public awareness and easily accessible rehabilitation programs can give impacted men the resources they need to start over and mend their relationships and lives.
Our behaviors, emotions, and interpersonal connections can all be significantly impacted by our home environment. People may resort to harmful coping strategies like drug addiction and mental health problems when family disputes and stress occur.
We may start creating a more caring and supportive environment by recognizing the intricate relationship between drug addiction and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law disputes. We can lower the risk of drug addiction and mental health problems and make our homes healthier and happier by enhancing communication, establishing boundaries, getting help, and creating a positive atmosphere.